Reader Beware

For whatever reason, I've begin to come out of my blogging shell a bit. Maybe I'm the hermit crab of the blogosphere, and I've finally started to outgrow some aspects of Polite Blogging. As such, you may find that some more mature themes and devices start to find their way into my writing. If (when) it happens, it'll be a more honest blog, but it might also be way less civil. Don't worry, I'm not going to be reviewing my favourite pornography (not here anyway), or posting pictures of myself in various states of Weiner-like middle-aged undress. As far as I know, I have no nip-slip or unintentional upskirt episodes about which I should be aware and/or concerned about being released into the ether. But I feel like I'm starting to engage properly with this form of expression, and being 'engaged' means having opinions... and if there is one thing I have a shitload of, it's opinions. You might like some of them, you might not. But as I begin to pass from blogging eDolesecence into young eDulthood, my voice is likely to break at times. Then again, it might not. I might remain, eternally, in some kind of Justin Beiber-style social networking prepubesence. If Blog Immitates Life, it will be ages yet before I stumble awkwardly one New Year's Eve past the final, irreversible hurdle of timidity. Hopefully, like my companion that cold wintry night on the sofabed of a Oregon ski lodge, you will be equally ignorant in your expectations and just as forgiving in your judgement of my performance. But if my voice happens to mature and the content of this blog happens to venture into the vicinity of occasional vulgarities, don't say I didn't warn ya. I feel like even 'warning' you is a bit of a cop-out and slightly antiprophetic. But I also feel like the more 'America, fuck yeah!'s and 'I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast's I put on here without a disclaimer, the more guilty I feel. So this, here, is that disclaimer.

*In anticpation of the time in a few days or weeks when the predictable lull in my prolificacy returns, please pick an apology from here, and I'll promise to mean it. Start with 'I'm sorry I haven't blogged lately, but...'

• I'm too busy to blog.
• I'm not very busy, but can't be arsed to blog.
• I'm trapped under something heavy.
• My chickens have escaped and pecked me to death.