Say What?: When did raping become a good thing?

I've learned a lot about English since I've moved to Wales (and who says Americans don't understand irony?). Along with the obligatory lessons in hilarious trans-Atlantic homonym-based humour, I've also had some sharp lessons in the use of words that I took as being benign which really - if you look a little more closely - are really quite offensive in origin.

Exhibit A: 'spaz'. Now, back in my day, it was OK to call someone a spaz. I was little or no different than calling them a wally, geek, nerd or dork. Then, was so well-accepted, I'd argue, that it's been enshrined by the bastion of 70s and 80s comedy, Bill Murray, in the 1979 classic 'Meatballs':

I mean, in the US, there's a line of lip-balms called SpazzStick, an energy drink branded as Spaz Juice ("all the energy you need to annoy everybody else"), and a Transformer named Spastic. All of these seem normal(ish) in the US now, and it definitly wasn't an issue in the halcyon pre-PC days of my redneck childhood.

But the first time I called someone a spaz in the UK, the people I was with looked at me as if I'd just called MLK a nigger. 'You can't say that!' they said, in unison. 'Why not? He's a spaz!' I replied, incredulously. Turns out, they were right. In the UK, The National Spastics Society (now called Scope) was founded in 1951 to look after the needs of people dealing with cerebral palsy. So calling someone a spaz here was a big deal. Dunno... maybe it's now a big deal back home, too. But the point is that there are words that vary in meaning, where the 'sting' of the original meaning is either diluted or intensified by the mitigating factors of time, location, maturity or culture.

Which brings me alarmingly to another bit of evidence which might suggest that I am, despite my best efforts, getting older: when did raping something become a good thing? On Facebook today, a young man I coach posted a screen shot of a computer game score of which he was particularly proud. The caption read 'Raping'. And I thought...eh?? So I posted back: 'Is that meant to be a good thing?'. What followed was an unintentionally condescending explanation of the use of the word in 'modern talk': 'to do something violently and in a way to show absolute destruction of something. E.G. "I absolutely raped in this game." lol.'

Now, THAT definition of 'raping' doesn't sound too dissimilar to what I had in mind. Is it my 40(ish) years making me overly sensitive, and not allowing language to evolve? Is it my fatherly instincts exhibiting themselves with such a visceral reaction to the use of that word in such a casual, even positive way? Or is it a legitimate concern to think that a word that is so intimately connected to something so horrific is now just 'what kids say'? Probably, definitely, and hopefully.

I guess I just think that some words are just too laden with subtext to have their meaning changed so dramatically. And I guess I'm a little saddened by the thought that someone could say that they raped something, know what it 'could' mean to some people, and still be OK with using it. I think that it's kind of like me deciding that I don't mean what YOU might mean if I call you a kike, or saying I 'totally molested that dude in a game of darts'. Me deciding that subtext doesn't matter doesn't eliminate the connotations that people might have with certain words, and although I don't feel as though we should be overly dramatic about the impact that our words might have, I do think we need to be aware of our audience. 

And maybe, in truth, that's exactly what I need to remember here: the 19-year-old young man who bragged that he 'raped' his video game probably didn't have me in mind as his audience. And he's probably right.

But still...raped? Really? C'mon Generation Next: you can do better.

Things that make me go ewwwwwww: feet.

I think it's safe and not too controversial to say that most people have feet (apologies to any un-pedalled people out there). And I've got news for everyone who DOES have feet: your feet are ugly. That's right - you. Don't care if you're Olivia Munn or John Merrick, your feet are all kinds of nasty. George Clooney (is he still meant to be hot?), Brad Pitt, Kate Beckinsale, Anne Hathaway. Rank, gnarly, gross, blergh.

In fact, I bet you can't guess the pretty people these hideous hooves belong to. These are attractive, powerful and probably very kind people. But their feet make me want to hurl.

Now, please don't misunderstand. I'm suggesting neither that these people have particularly ugly feet, or that the look of their feet has any bearing whatsoever on their talent, their looks or their inherent worth as a human being. I'm just saying that just like pooping, everybody has ugly feet.

And I can hear the outcries of protest. 'Not me,' you say. 'I get pedicures and moisturise religiously'.  Yes, you; and no, it doesn't matter. If you have feet, they're ugly. Anybody who tells you that there is another option is selling something, and it's probably a disgusting foot skin grater like this:

So please: thinking about wearing sandals? Wear socks, too. Going to paint your toenails? Don't bother - that just makes it worse. And, for the LOVE OF GOD... the next time you take a holiday snap of the pool or beach that you're laying at, don't include your feet in the frame. Leave them out and let me enjoy the view. You may be beautiful, and the chaise lounge that you're reclining in might have the best view of a sunset on the most amazing beach the world has ever seen - but your feet are ugly. Fact.


PS... for anyone playing at home, those feet belong to Oprah, Katie Holmes and Kate Beckinsale. For reals.

Waiting to Exhale

I'm not a slob, but I often feel like the Out of Shape In Shape Guy from the 50s.

So I've decided that I'm going to do something about it. Wanna watch? If you do, go here:

http://bodybymi.blogspot.co.uk/?view=magazine

No pictures here, but it's probably safe to say that when I do post some before stuff, it won't be for the faint of heart.

You'll notice that one of the goals on there is to write more. You've been warned.